Fuck Ups | slouch.

introducing your dream literary agent

By admin, on December 3rd, 2011 |

Do you have absolutely zero ideas for a book?

Or perhaps you just want to know how to properly use the little known literary trick, “ellipse-semi-colon style” (…;) properly in a sentence?

Then, here’s your man. But, fair warning: you probably don’t have the chops to get this dude to rep you.

Buk & Levis

By joshuacitrak, on August 23rd, 2011 |

This might be old news to some of you, but I just heard about this today. Apparently Levi’s has managed to marry Bukowski’s “The Laughing Heart” with a sixty second “film” — aka commercial designed to sell you cool. It’s playing on the pre-roll in theaters all over.

I love Levi’s. I only rock them. [...]

when you're young, you're easily impressed

By joshuacitrak, on March 1st, 2011 |

Recently re-reading “On the Road.” “On the Road” for me, like a lot of other kids, was one of those things, a secular bar-mitzpah like “Rocky Horror” or copping beer with a fake ID. It was some necessary fuel that propelled you–so I thought–into a trajectory of the wildest, most colorful, harmless-crazy explosion of youth [...]

but they don’t ever figure it out, do they?

By joshuacitrak, on February 18th, 2010 |

We would hike up Telegraph Hill all the way to Coit Tower. We’d go past the parking lot to where you see the sweep of the Bay laid out and people clogging up the panorama posing for [...]

900 block

By joshuacitrak, on December 11th, 2009 |

The beat cop leans down to the driver’s side window of the squad car. The noise coming off of Market Street is making it hard to hear what the two in the black and white are saying. [...]

Relapse in 26 Lines

By Chris West, on August 5th, 2009 |

A thick creamy plume of smoke rises up into the stale air of the hotel room. Back at it
again. Canʼt believe it. Damn. Eloi, eloi lama sabbacthani and all that shit. Fucking truth
of the matter, though, is that Godʼs off the hook on this one. Gacked myself up, as
usual. [...]

this is the trend

By joshuacitrak, on July 22nd, 2009 |

This week Barnes and Noble has launched its eBook site, offering 700,000 titles at start. While Amazon and its Kindle continue to struggle, mostly because of proprietary format issues, B&N will allow its books to be read on the industry standard ePub format. The ePub format works on a variety of devices, from your iPhone [...]

Cooking Dirty

By joshuacitrak, on July 10th, 2009 |

Never look at your favorite restaurant in the same way thanks to, “Cooking Dirty,” another tome in the long line of kitchen exposé books. Part memoir, part confessional, Jason Sheehan serves up the typical gross out “you won’t believe what happens before that souffle gets to your table” stories that inundate the foodie world. Sheehan, however, does it better than most, and importantly, doesn’t take himself too seriously as he chronicles his experiences during the long hours spent in commercial kitchens. [...]

bird attack

By joshuacitrak, on June 15th, 2009 |

I smoked a cigarette down to my knuckles keeled against the dumpster; she never came out. Probably she still had [...]

conversation between cousins

By joshuacitrak, on March 14th, 2009 |

“Four days before dontcha know she’d cut herself,” my cousin paused through the phone. I could hear the phone scratching on something, his face, shoulder, while he was knocking at something with his free hands. “You know. Slashed her wrist.”
“Oh yeah,” was all I could think to say.
“Yeah. I mean, that’s the only reason I married her.”
“I thought your son introduced [...]