Diary Of The Bastard Messiah

What LAME writers say

By Mitch Mitchum, on August 3rd, 2011 |

what they say: “This is the manuscript that I workshopped”

what they mean: “I went to a place up in the mountains and had other people tell me how to write my book.”

what they say: “Wow. What a quirky novel.”

what they mean: This is a book written by someone middle aged and middle classed that doesn’t [...]

As some of you may know, I have a little something to do with the great mag Oyster Boy Review. Years ago, when I was struggling, trying to be a writer, churning out “BB&B” ( Blood, Babes and Booze ) stories, the editor in chief, Damon Suave, gave me encouragement, pointers and finally, a chance. [...]

congratu-fucking-lations

By joshuacitrak, on April 27th, 2011 |

I’m so very fucking glad to hear how you know better than the experts with all their “education” (what do they got to be so smart about?) and “experience” (you’ve been alive all these years, too) out there in the world “observing” and “studying” “scientific fact”

Your gut can tell you just as well as some [...]

spare the air

By joshuacitrak, on April 27th, 2011 |

If I can’t understand the point of your argument you respond by saying I’m elitist?

Am I an elitist because you’re running hot on a lean mixture of raw emotion?

Or because I’m too stupid to decipher sputtering hyperboles backfiring out your tail pipe?

Thin that shit out a little with some facts.

Then maybe a stupid elitist like [...]

something has to happen

By joshuacitrak, on August 12th, 2010 |

Something always has to happen. In the story. It has to be real and convincing, like the sun rising or a gust of wind that picks up down the street and drags dead stiff leaves and animates plastic liquor store [...]

MFA-like: (from the Citrak unabridged dictionary)

By joshuacitrak, on May 4th, 2010 |

a MFA-like piece of writing can contain any one of the following:

unusual wordiness, usually in describing something not very important.
distinctive liberties in language with the express purpose of completely turning off any readership besides other MFA [...]

trajectory of ascension

By joshuacitrak, on May 16th, 2007 |

“I’m in a trajectory of ascension,” he said, not looking me in the eyes as he slowly set down his glass.
I watched him, his shoulder, his nose, I saw a faint smile pulse through his lips as if he were really pleased about such a stupid sentence, or as if he had just farted.
Next to [...]

What LAME writers say

OBR #19... Finally

congratu-fucking-lations

spare the air

something has to happen

MFA-like: (from the Citrak unabridged dictionary)

trajectory of ascension

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