ever have someone tell you to stand up straight? look you in the eye when they're talking?

What LAME writers say

what they say: “This is the manuscript that I workshopped”

what they mean: “I went to a place up in the mountains and had other people tell me how to write my book.”

what they say: “Wow. What a quirky novel.”

what they mean: This is a book written by someone middle aged and middle classed that doesn’t only contain marital dissatisfaction, dull ruminations on the past and a forced epiphany based on a myopic interpretation of events — this book also has a talking cat.

what they say: “Oh, well I got my M.F.A from ______________ University”

what they mean: This is how i wasted two years of my life: by learning to be ironic, copying successful writer’s styles, and learning to use complex sentences to tell a story that wouldn’t even be interesting after last call.

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