19 05 2011
late night frustrations
Ok, what am I trying to say here? What do I mean?
I stare at the computer screen, rereading, rereading, until the screen saver comes on, until my eyes blow out of focus.
I mumble the words softly as I type, retype. The curses, they come out a lot louder.
This fucking goddamn shit fuck motherfucker.
Pick up the tennis ball, rifle it off the wall, catch it, do it again, again, again, again until I miss and break the lamp.
Return to the sentence. Go through it word by word over and over and over and over until it doesn’t even make sense anymore.
Doesn’t even seem like English.
Wait, wait. What the fuck was I was trying to say again?
It was really important, the crux of everything.
Now I forgot.
Even a drunk can find somewhere to lie down at the end of a long night.
He just stumbles until he can’t do it any more.