17 05 2011
“I Know Stuff” words
Grandpa used to call them “fifty cent words.” At the time, I thought he was saying that only rich people would go to such extravagance, but now I realize what he really meant was: most bling is just fucking tacky. Spit it out, son, and speak what’s on your mind. Don’t give me a lesson in vocabulary.
“I Know Stuff” words are meant to dually impress and intimidate. To enlighten us to the users intelligence and obfuscate whatever point they’re trying to make. They’re words that are obscure, rarely used, the last synonym in a thesaurus entry. Found only in literature criticism essays, New York Times crosswords and perpetually on the tongue of the annoying guy at the party who came alone and is drinking wine, they aren’t categorized by length or origin, but rather by their complete redundancy and total uselessness in daily communication. Using these words, you’re only trying to make one point: “I Know Stuff,” feel free to worship.
“I Know Stuff” words: because if you talk smart, you must be smart.
Ensconced | enˈskäns | verb [ trans. ]
Does not mean: inside a conch shell-like structure, anything having to do with scones.
Does mean: establish or settle (someone) in a comfortable, safe, or secret place : Agnes ensconced herself in their bedroom | spectators who were once comfortably ensconced in the old stadium’s box seats.
Effete | iˈfēt | adjective
Does not mean: gay.
Does mean: (of a person) affected, overrefined, and ineffectual : effete trendies from art college.
• no longer capable of effective action : the authority of an effete aristocracy began to dwindle.
Massif | maˈsēf | noun
Does not mean: a huge dog.
Does mean: a compact group of mountains, esp. one that is separate from other groups.
Dais | ˈdāis; ˈdī- | noun
Does not mean: muchos dias, a purple, delicate flower.
Does mean: a low platform for a lectern, seats of honor, or a throne.
Flotsam | ˈflätsəm | noun
Does not mean: a town on the Mississippi.
Does mean: the wreckage of a ship or its cargo found floating on or washed up by the sea. Compare with jetsam • figurative people or things that have been rejected and are regarded as worthless : the room was cleared of boxes and other flotsam.