ever have someone tell you to stand up straight? look you in the eye when they're talking?

MFA-like: (from the Citrak unabridged dictionary)

a MFA-like piece of fiction writing can contain any one of the following:

  • unusual wordiness, usually in describing something not very important.
  • distinctive liberties in language with the express purpose of completely turning off any readership besides other MFA students/grads.
  • butchering or completely doing away with any plot structure. this technique usually relies solely on the writer’s ability to weave language in a way where they say a lot of interesting sounding words without saying anything interesting.
  • a globe where the only significant land mass is the island of Manhattan.
  • a plot based singularly on the lamentable fact that everybody has trouble with their parents, boyfriend/girlfriend or husband/wife, and only the song that the wind whistles while blowing through the Live Oak leaves really understands how it all is.
  • a narrative that dwells on what is only of interest to white, middle class people who have graduated from college (a state school does not count here)
  • settings in which the world has inexplicably become devoid of all proletariat unless you’re talking about the homeless guy on the corner and then isn’t that just sad and a metaphor for something?
  • large, seemingly endless passages where more effort is put into dissecting the minutiae of the narrator’s (read: author’s thinly veiled) frustrations than describing what the hell is supposed to be going on in this story

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