10 12 2013
“I’m going to cut out my TV watching, my drinking, smoking pot and staying up ’till all hours and really buckle down this year and finally finished writing that novel.”
“Oh yeah? Well, where the hell will is the inspiration gonna come from?”
inspiration, what lame writers say
5 12 2013
What’s your stance on tomatoes and other vegetables that grow in the night-time?
one question, philosophy, vegetables
4 12 2013
RE: Your dog is not the most important person on the planet after you.
note to you, pets
4 12 2013
Some people their dream is to own a big assed house high up in the Hollywood Hills. A gate across the drive. Movie stars for neighbors. Help in the kitchen. A pool and palm trees and the glitter of the skyline.
Not me. Every day I’d look through my window down upon L.A. and think, “Goddamn. What a shithole.”
california, los angeles, the good life
3 12 2013
There was this guy who was always sitting on our front stoop with his laptop on his lap stealing the free internet of the cafe next door.
dirty laundry, interwebs
It bothered me.
“You can’t even buy a damn cuppa coffee from them?” I asked him. “They have chairs and shit in there too, you know.”
But he always had an excuse.
“I look too grubby to go in there.”
“I misplaced my wallet somewhere I don’t know where.”
“I don’t drink coffee.”
So the next time I saw him I told him to get the fuck off my stairs and if I ever saw him on them again I’d stick his computer up his ass.
Now, I see him at the laundromat around the corner, using their free wifi but never doing any laundry.
I don’t say anything about it, though. The laundromat is kind of a shithole and the machines eat your quarters.
2 12 2013
There’s a liquor store on Larkin that doesn’t sell liquor. Doesn’t sell beer, cigarettes, rolling papers, Swisher Sweets, Lotto scratchers or condoms.
How do they stay in business since they don’t sell anything that poor ghetto folks want?
city livin', drinking, san francisco, smoke 'em if ya got 'em
2 12 2013
These fucks in the wall, they won’t shut up. They just jam the tomatoes into the french fry cutter, like chambering a thirty-ought round, pull down on the lever and BANG.
absurdist, i'll cut you, illegals